Depressing........

I don't understand why I'm so depressed all the time. Is it that it's finally "setting in" that my Mom is gone? Is it because both of my bosses at work are dealing with parents that are seriously ill? Is it because the election is nearing and I dislike both of the candidates and feel our country is headed for disaster? Is it because the holidays are just around the corner and I don't know if I can handle them this year? Is it because Big R and I have been snapping at each other with increasing regularity here lately? Is it all of this rolled into one big ball of DEPRESSION?

My nephew called my sister yesterday and told her we all HAVE to get together around the holidays. We can't just let our family go their separate ways! I'm glad he feels that way, but I just don't know if I can handle getting together at Thanksgiving or Christmas like we always did. Too many memories and no Mama.....he also told her a tree went through the house at the lake and pretty much destroyed it. This makes me sick! That place was my dad's pride and joy.

It just seems that everything I hear is "bad". There's not much that's "good news" anymore. I want to be happy. I want to laugh and enjoy my life. Why can't I do that? I'm a firm believer that attitude is everything. If you have a positive attitude toward things, everything is better, but how do you have a positive attitude when you feel like your life is falling apart and there's nothing you can do to stop it?

I seriously need a shrink!